Let’s talk cravings, cheat days, and what really happens when I “fall off the meat wagon”
Let’s talk first about guilt.
The kind that sneaks in the moment you start to feel better.
Sounds backward, right?
You’d think healing would be met with celebration. Fireworks. Applause. At least a high-five. Instead, I found myself whispering wins.
“I feel stronger again… but it’s probably just temporary.”
“I’m sleeping through the night… but maybe it’s a fluke.”
“I don’t wake up in pain anymore… but I shouldn’t say that too loud.”
Because for some reason, when your healing doesn’t come from a prescription or a green smoothie, people get weird.
When you go off the mainstream wellness script, when your recovery involves steak and eggs instead of kale and cardio, the room gets quiet. The eyebrows raise. The subtle judgment sets in.
And somewhere deep inside, a voice whispers:
“Maybe they’re right.”
“Maybe I’m being reckless.”
“Maybe feeling good… isn’t enough.”
But here’s what I’ve realized, guilt is a distraction.It’s a polite little thief that takes the joy out of progress and replaces it with self-doubt. And I don’t have room for that anymore, not in my head, or my body.
I Wasn’t Born to Be Apologetic
I used to explain myself constantly.
“I know it’s weird, but”
“It’s just a phase, I think”
“Don’t worry, I still love vegetables deep down”
No. Not anymore. I don’t owe anyone a disclaimer for feeling like myself again.
I don’t need to dilute my healing to make other people more comfortable
That’s not something to feel guilty about, that’s something to protect.
How I Let It Go?
I started small. I stopped explaining my plate. I stopped apologizing for skipping the cake. I stopped letting other people’s discomfort shrink my joy. And slowly, guilt turned into grace. Grace turned into pride. And pride turned into freedom.
So Here’s the Reminder:
You don’t need to feel bad for feeling better.
Even if your healing is messy. Even if it’s controversial. Even if your salad looks like a sizzling ribeye
You don’t need to ask permission to thrive. You just need to trust what’s true for you and that’s enough.
The Woman Behind the Jersey 