‘Don’t tell the teacher’

My daughter, who is in 3rd grade, will not return to school till at least November due COVID19.
I have to step up my game and help her navigate with her virtual schooling.
This week I guided her and I was in the background listening to her teacher and classmates. One thing was very clear, some kids really don’t listen and some have no filter with what they say, whatsoever. The rule is that nobody can turn their microphone on if the teacher doesn’t ask them to do so.
Yeah, good luck with that one. Many did not follow that rule and at one moment I felt so sorry for the teacher when a student just blurred out a story in the middle of an assignment about what he was doing with his pet and I can tell you… It was really inappropriate.

I got right away flashbacks and anxiety from my own child from when I had to apologize to her teacher because she said something she shouldn’t share to nobody than only at home.

Last year my sweet daughter thought it was a great idea to just randomly walk up to her teachers desk to tell her if she could stop saying the word ‘kiddo(s)’ so much. Especially in her emails. Her mom (so me) thought that was very annoying.

I got an email that morning with some positive, passive aggressive feedback on my behavior and that it wasn’t really nice to just say these things out loud at home… I could hurt somebodies feelings.
If you know me, I would never do that intentionally. The word ‘kiddo’ just makes me uncomfortable and it makes me cringe. I understand I should not have said that out loud in the house so many times.

In my defense… well… I don’t have any defense claims.

It’s definitely not personal, it is just the word and the sound of it. Some friends of mine do it all the time and when we are in a conversation I bite my tongue when they repeatedly saying it. And when I read it on their social media…Oh my… I just question myself why we are exactly still friends?

I really do think I like people… (see ‘We all know them’)

For my husband this situation was very amusing. He repeatedly asked me how
I am gonna save myself out of this one with a big smile.

Anyhow… my first thought towards my daughter was ‘you got to be kidding me’. Why would you even say something like that? again… why? I thought I trained our children well to not tell other people our business and for a 7 year old she was really rocking it… so what happened?
When I picked her up from school we talked about it and asked her the big WHY question.

And then… ‘the monkey fell out of the sleeve’ (Dutch saying/expression). Let this be a life lesson for all parents. Kids hear everything! Even if you think they are not listening.
She overheard a conversation between me and her dad while she was in bed. I had a rough day and I was complaining a little bit about why my kids weren’t grateful for what I am doing for them every single day! Why can they not just do something the first time when I ask them to do something. Or getting a ‘thank you’ ones in a while. Recognition is such a powerful tool for all of us moms. It makes us smile and happier.

My life exists sometimes only around my husband and my kids. I accepted it many years ago and I know where I signed up for when we decided to move to the USA. Here they say… ‘you made your bed’.
Because I am so focused on my family, I forget that I have to take care of myself as well. I said something like ‘why can somebody not just take care of me ones in a while so I can be happy’.

And there it was…. My daughter saw it as her cue to do something for me. So she walked up the next morning full with confidence to the teachers desk thinking she was doing me a solid.
Not really what I had in mind or what I was going for, but it was definitely a bold move.

I eventually emailed the teacher back and I owned it! I said that this situation was very awkward and of course I apologized about her feeling bad. But I said I was sticking with my opinion about the word. (Dutch directness I guess)

If you go down… go down with confidence.

Because of this small inconvenience the teacher and I became eventually friends.
With me is what you see is what you get!

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