Motherhood, WTF!

You would think I have the luck that my daughter mingles 2 languages in her sentences, but for an unexplainable reason she always speaks perfectly clear English when we are in a public place.
She can all of the sudden loudly pointing out some observation or repeats something I or someone else once told her.

Mind you that this is in a public setting! These have been some of the most embarrassing and humiliating situations that my sweet daughter put me in but as I look back…I just smile while scratching my head and asking myself, “What do I do?!”
I know she is still young and not really aware in what she says or does, but seriously kid! Help me out here!

And to be fair, there is no use trying to “shush” a 3-year-old, because she will just repeat it over and over and even louder!
But I have to say…she developed a sense of humor that is hilarious and what is btw scary close to mine…especially the facial expressions.

We are now in a phase with her that she makes comments about the size and physical condition of strangers or even friends, which can lead to some simply awkward situations.
She first makes sure I am trapped in an area where I cannot escape…then she finds her target, ideally someone who is standing close to me… then makes the embarrassing comment and repeats it with love…OFTEN!!

So, how do I navigate such tricky situations? Yeah well…good question…I’m working on it.

To start with…I think my most embarrassing moment…

When we were with a group of friends…she got picked up by our friend who has really big breasts. I noticed she was staring at them so I tried to distract her, but it became even worse when she stick her hand inside her t-shirt and squeezed them like if it was an orange!! My friend burst into laughs and gets her hand out of there, but to make matters even worse for me, my daughter asks ME why I don’t have those??

Well to be clear….you ate them!

And while we are on the subject…she grew up around lots of expecting moms, so she knows when the belly goes bigger…there’s a baby inside.
Not cool when you are in the store and you stand in an aisle with a lady who is bigger in stature and your daughter asks her if there is a baby inside her tummy!! In the meantime, I’m standing there mortified apologizing.

She did that to at least 10 others before she understood she could NOT say that.

But because she could not say that anymore, she found an even better audience for me…The Mall!

She would just say out loud…why does that person look so old or why that person has a broken face (wrinkled) and when somebody needs to take a bath…yeah, that last part is probably my own fault due to this thing I have about people who aren’t so fresh or so clean!

Yeah….what can I do?
She left me already so many times redheaded and when I start to think this cannot get any worse…it does! She’s also good in “public humiliation” without words.
Let me explain…

She lets me or her daddy walk with 3 naked “Barbie’s”, the whole cast of “My Little Pony”, the “Peppa Pig” family and to finish it off…a “Toy Car”. Oh!! I almost forgot the backpack of “Paw Patrol”, that is way too small to put all the stuff I just mentioned in. We just carry it with pride…

At one point…I had a police officer come up to me and ask me to dress the Barbie’s next time properly. I know it was with a wink, but it’s like an embarrassing moment. Especially when all the eyes are facing at me!

Not to forget to mention the embarrassing moments when she was a baby.

Like, when she decided to poop all over my husband’s coaches clothes. The poor man…he must have thought before holding her, what harm a few month old baby could possibly do. Well her diaper exploded on him! A total embarrassment for me!

And how can I forget the traumatic moment when she puked all over the arm of my friend and trust me when I say this…we could probably buy a house with the jewelry she was wearing on that arm!
In seconds, I saw myself doing her dishes and cleaning her house for a lifetime to pay her back.

I still wake up sometimes in a cold sweat from thinking about that day.

It’s like she knows…if she needs to be the “perfect” child she does the opposite!
The worst part of this story…this is only the beginning of what’s in store for me.
The best part is that my sweet daughter will say or do more “WTF” things with love…OFTEN!!

If anybody can give me some advice… that will be great!

God be with us and thank you “Lucy”.