Karen doesn’t ask questions. Karen researches.
By the time Karen joins the conversation, she already knows more than you. Not because she’s looked deeply, but because she’s looked confidently. “I just Googled it,” Karen says. Which is never a good sign. Karen Googled carnivore in Dutch. For exactly four minutes. On page one. While standing in line for coffee.
And according to Karen, the results are very clear. “Yeah… it’s really bad for you.” “I saw multiple experts.” “Apparently your arteries just… slip.” Karen makes a hand gesture here.
Something between a slide, a collapse, and a quiet goodbye. “By the end of the week,” she adds helpfully, “you’re basically done.”
Brenda nods.
Debbie looks relieved.
This confirms everything. I don’t interrupt. Because honestly, I get where Karen is coming from. If you Google carnivore in the Netherlands, it reads like a medical thriller. Every headline is urgent. Every article is definitive. Every expert is extremely disappointed in you personally.
Eat meat.
Die young.
Preferably quietly.
But Karen didn’t stop there. “I also checked English sources,” she says, almost casually. “And it’s… confusing.” This is Karen’s polite way of saying: The internet did not agree with itself. Because suddenly there are stories. Good ones. Bad ones. Long ones. Short ones. People who tried it. People who quit. People who felt amazing. People who absolutely did not. No one agrees. No one promises miracles. And strangely, no one declares you clinically deceased by Friday.
Karen does not like this part.Karen likes certainty. Clear villains. Clear heroes. Clear rules. And carnivore, unfortunately, refuses to cooperate.
“So I don’t know,” Karen says. “It just seems… risky.” Which is interesting, because Karen eats things she can’t pronounce, takes supplements she doesn’t fully understand, and feels tired all the time. But that’s different. That’s normal.
The funny thing is, Karen isn’t actually worried about the meat. She’s worried about the idea that something simple might work.That someone didn’t need a plan, a coach, or a system with phases and a downloadable PDF. Because if eating simply is allowed, what does that say about everything else? So Karen Googles again. Just to be sure.
Meanwhile, I eat my food. Finish my meal. And move on with my day.
Which, judging by Karen’s face, is still the most concerning outcome of all.
The Woman Behind the Jersey 