Nobody Warned Me About My Hormones

When people ask me what carnivore changed first… They’re usually expecting me to say weight. Or my skin. Or my energy.

Nope.

My hormones. Which is slightly awkward to explain over coffee. Because the conversation usually goes like this.

“So… what changed?”

“My hormones.”

“…”

“…”

“Cool.”

Nobody ever knows what to say after that.

And honestly…

Neither did I.

For years I just assumed being a woman meant living on a hormonal rollercoaster. One week you’re crying because somebody rescued a puppy.

The next week you’re ready to fight the biggest scary man in your street.

Apparently… That’s normal.

Or at least that’s what Karen keeps telling me. Karen has seventeen different supplements. Three hormone podcasts. Two apps that tell her what phase she’s in. And a drawer full of teas with names like Inner Goddess Balance.

Meanwhile… I eat steak. That’s basically my contribution to hormone management.

The funny thing is… It actually worked. Somewhere along the way, everything just… Calmed down.

I sleep through the night. Most nights I don’t wake up at all.

Hot flashes? Rare.

And when they do happen, it’s usually because I decided wearing a blazer in July was somehow a good idea.

The biggest difference isn’t even physical. It’s the consistency.

I don’t feel like I’m constantly being dragged around by my hormones anymore. They finally seem to have joined my team.

Now before Debbie calls me…

No.

I’m not saying carnivore is a miracle.

I’m not saying everyone should throw away their vegetables and start hugging cows.

I’m simply telling you what happened to me.

Because that’s all I can honestly do.

Maybe it’s the protein.

Maybe it’s the healthy fats.

Maybe it’s finally giving my body enough of what it needed all along.

I honestly don’t know.

I just know that the women around me are talking about perimenopause…

Menopause…

Mood swings…

Night sweats…

And I’m sitting there thinking…

“Is this where I’m supposed to contribute?”

Because…

I don’t really have much to report.

For the first time in years… My hormones seem wonderfully… Boring.

And honestly?

That’s the nicest compliment I could ever give them.

Karen still thinks it’s impossible.

Debbie thinks I’m lucky.

I’m just over here eating another ribeye and sleeping eight uninterrupted hours.

Turns out…

Balanced hormones are a lot less exciting than hormonal chaos. And that’s exactly how I like it.

What Carnivore Fixed (For Me)

✅ Hormones

⬜ Back pain

⬜ Partial paralysis

⬜ Sleep

⬜ Anxiety

⬜ Brain fog

⬜ Skin

⬜ Energy

⬜ Autoimmune issues